Did You Know There Are Millions of Jobs Hiding in Your Uterus??

I'm guessing you were unaware that your uterus was the key to fixing the unemployment crisis and putting 16 million Americans back to work. Thankfully the Republicans were aware of this miracle - and they've been doing everything in their power to focus like a laser on controlling, regulating, and getting the government inside your uterus in order to foster job creation.

The Guttmacher Institute is reporting that "legislators have introduced 916 measures related to reproductive health and rights in the 49 legislatures that have convened their regular sessions."

As a whole, the proposals introduced this year are more hostile to abortion rights than in the past: 56% of the bills introduced so far this year seek to restrict abortion access, compared with 38% last year. Three topics—insurance coverage of abortion, restriction of abortion after a specific point in gestation and ultrasound requirements—are topping the agenda in several states. At the same time, legislators are proposing little in the way of proactive initiatives aimed at expanding access to reproductive health –related services; this stands in sharp contrast to recent years when a range of initiatives to promote comprehensive sex education, permit expedited STI treatment for patients’ partners and ensure insurance coverage of contraception were adopted. For the moment, at least, supporters of reproductive health and rights are almost uniformly playing defense at the state level.

Eliminating insurance coverage of abortion, restriction on abortion after a certain point in the pregnancy, forced unnecessary ultrasounds, and absolutely no effort to help prevent unwanted pregnancy - boy, that's some awesome job creation!! Can you just see all of the money this is putting into the economy? The GDP is growing by several percentage points with every hundred laws introduced!

Ladies, our uteri are powerful. Not only do we have the ability to bring life into the world when we choose, but we also have the ability to create millions of jobs. We should thank Republicans for pointing out the power - which they are SO excited to take control of. It's amazing how much Republicans love government intrusion when it involves them crawling back up into a woman's uterus. This is one creepy obsession they've got.

Here in Florida, the ACLU has a campaign to fight against government intrusion of your uterus - it's called Incorporate My Uterus.

Coast to coast, conservatives get elected by promising smaller government and less business regulation but as soon as they get elected, they rush to put big government regulations on the personal freedom and privacy of your body.

It’s a clear double standard. To them, there are too many regulations on pharmacies and fruit stands but not nearly enough government rules about your uterus.

Since they seem to agree that government has no business in business, it’s time to make your uterus into a business.

Maybe then your uterus can get the same treatment corporations get – fewer rules, fewer government searches and more personal freedoms.

Next time you hear a Republican talking about "personal freedom" and "liberty" and demanding that the government stay out of their business, remind them that it's their party that wants to control the uteri of 50% of the population.

And ladies, please do your part to fix this economy - your uteri is needed in the fight to create jobs - exactly what kind of job a uterus creates, I'm not sure, but we need 16 million of them, so as FL Governor Rick Scott likes to say, "let's get to work!"